I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
