I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
