You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I believe in your delicious
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
