bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
