He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
