things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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