the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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