can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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