Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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