nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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