After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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