no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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