does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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