i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
