We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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