I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
