Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
