oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
