Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
