Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
