Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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