I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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