He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
