Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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