1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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