There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
