no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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