well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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