Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
do herpes really smell.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
