We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
