careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
