i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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