god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
