Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize