I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
