You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Found your dick twin last night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
