carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
