he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
