Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
