Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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