I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
