I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize