I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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