I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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