I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize