You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
