It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
