i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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