Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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