cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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