yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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