Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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