Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
