I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize