Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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