how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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